I hate old women abrubtly stopping on the footpath, I hate the awkward face i put on as i dodge and weave, and i hate the way i curve my body like a plastic ruler to avoid contact with them. Coincidently i hate people who walk slowly, and people who walk in large groups, and people who change their mind at the last second and walk into your route without saying sorry after you move out of their way. I especially hate overtaking old women, because with old women there's always the danger that you're going to scare them very literally to death. Particularly when it's late, im dressed all in black, clutching an umbrella that bears an uncanny resemblance to a truncheon and wearing a pair of leather strangler's gloves. This would also be known as a creep/rapist.
If only there was some kind of universally accepted special cough that said, "OK madam, I'm walking behind right you, and I'm unfortunately dressed like a sex pest, but trust me, I am not interested in raping you."
Trouble with this is, once the actual rapists caught wind of this cough, we'd have to come up with something else, so it's probably not worth it.
