Airbus 747's

The nose is an amazing feature of the human body, mine isn't. The noise it makes is hated by all and loved by none. Sure a cute girl can snore and i might give an "awwww" but in most of my experiences a loud breather deserves to be smothered by their pillow. Theres nothing like trying to fall asleep to the sound of an airbus, or a large male walrus. I cannot begin to describe how much i hate a whistling nose, especially one that gets steadily louder and louder. Blow your nose idiot. The one that tops the cake is the open mouth half nose half throat breathing, this is just pathetic. You're too lazy to breathe properly so you just let your face sag and survive on its own, it produces the worst noise. If you dont know what im talking about think back to the brainy creepy breathing dude from Hey Arnold! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xh8rkaeFo4

I hate uni keyboards

I hate dirty keyboards and i hate germs, i hate the word germs. My body is full of germs, i hate my body. BACTERIA. Just now at uni i consumed a packet of barbeque shapes whilst licking my fingers and typing an assignment. Until now i didnt realise how many germs i was digesting even though i remind myself of how dirty public computers are. I always seem to forget. Uni keyboards are fucking filthy. Some of the dirtiest people use them, including me. At the moment my computer is surrounded by food, even though i can see about 5 signs saying food and drink are not permitted in the computer lab. This worries me none, germs however do worry me. My keyboard is extremely greasy, and my mouse has hardened scum on the clicker. I am now going to wash my hands and mouth out with spray soap.

People that smell like moth balls

Self explanitory. There are odourless moth balls readily avaliable.

People who dont wear deoderant

Body odur is a serious hate of mine. I can tolerate someones smell if they are nice, but if they dont have much going for them im cruising. Rexona: Its cheap, its affordable. Why must you stink? Do you atleast lather in soap whilst showering? Do you wash your clothes after you know you've sweated in them? Smelly people attract flys and flys are germ infested creatures, which in turn makes you a smelly germ infested creature. How do you expect to interact with society if you scare everyone away with a potent handshake, steal a can if you must.

On a completely different note I find female body odur to be more pleasant than male body odur. Apart from my own body odur which I think smells the best. Also, apparently female body odur is an aphrodisiac.. but i've never been aroused by a smelly girl.

What's on your mind? 'We No Speak Americano' or 'I'm Not Your Toy'

I spend alot of time on facebook. Im currently on facebook lurking your profiles and liking your status updates. Oh look, another facebook status with song lyrics in it. Just great. After viewing your status i have proceeded to hide you from my newsfeed. Are you that boring that you cant create something even the slightest bit entertaining for all your friends to see? Are you that depressed that your status updates are emo song lyrics along the lines of "i need you in my life please dont leave me" and for about a minute i actually thought of posting "hey are you ok love?" "oh its just a song tony :)"

Your default status should be: insert something here that promotes me as a cool, fun to hang around, good looking, funny and caring person.

You are shit.

People that think they are Camels

I hate people. I especially hate people that chew loudly, with their mouths open.

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack.

Could you please close your mouth? Unless you actually want to be labelled as an animal. Without you realising you are spitting food on people around you and on yourself, you look disgusting. You have something stuck between your teeth. There are crumbs on the sides of your mouth as well as white saliva deposits. Everytime you open your mouth sticky saliva drips from the top to the bottom of your mouth.

This is what you look like.

If someone can find out what this is, i will be forever grateful... Because i want to hate on it

KOSHDOGGYDOG

Ever woken up in the morning to the sound of this guys voice because someones watching Sunrise? Are you extremely offended by his false sincerity and over the top sweetness in the hopes he will be appealing to your mother, in a bid to win ratings while steadily lowering the quality of morning TV? Have you ever heard him "nawwwwww" or make a cutesy sound?

If the answer to any of the above questions is YES, then we can be friends.

I want to do evil things to myself and other people when im forced to listen to this guy. His co host is a sweetie, but this guy is just a douchebag. Congratulations to Kochie on winning the Bogie for Australia's most annoying person on Australian TV.

Fake Raybans from Bali which i purchased for 50 cents

How much longer will you be 'in' for? Have you ever looked at a pair of raybans wayfarers closely and realised how odd they look? Why are these fashionable? I am off of these for good. Not only do they not suit my face, they dont even suit my nose. Thanks goes out to the millions of conformists who have just chosen to start wearing the same frames as everyone else. Globalisation is to blame. Dolly has its own type of fake wayfarer, so does american apparel, so does cotton on, so does woolworths. Thanks for ruining something that used to be cool. Thanks James for getting me cheap ones from China. Thanks Carmine for leaving a pair at my house and a big thank you to myself for bringing back 20 pairs from Bali and giving them to people as gifts.


The John Lennon look is coming back. Be the first to get on board.

Bootcut? more like Cutthroat...

I hate bootcut jeans, on guys and gals. Theres nothing attractive about bootcut whatsoever, its ugly and boring. One of the most annoying sounds also happens to be denim swishing against itself. Everytime i think of bootcut jeans, i think of old people and people with no sense of style. A real hipster works hard for his/her jeans, paying $100 dollars for denim in its rawest form. And why not? Its fashionable and looks good as opposed to looking like you're stuck in the 90's. When you're cold and need someone to hug your ankles, who's going to be there for you? Dont look at bootcut, he'll be flapping about in the wind showing the world your odd socks and hairy legs. You might aswell be wearing parachute pants; this way when you jump off a building to kill yourself because you've realised how much of an idiot you look like, you might catch enough air in your ridiculous flares to survive the fall.

Ugly in a Can

The female race has come along way since the stone age.. or has it? One thing i really hate is a girl with excessive fake tan on. Who told her she looks good? Did anyone tell her she resembles an oompa loompa or possibly Ayres Rock when stationary? You were born a certain colour for a reason and that is who you are for the rest of your life, I think we can all learn a lesson here from Michael Jackson, god bless. Girls also need to realise there are certain spots of the body that if you miss, make you look like a complete twat. For example; the patch underneath your underarm, your neck, where your hair ends and your forehead starts. Walking around like you've got shit on your hands has never looked good. Also, if you cant stand being white atleast pay for a decent spray tan at my mums salon.

+1 Friend Request

I love friend requests, the possibility of a super hot babe adding me so i can stalk her profile 5 times a day is a dream come true. Alas, this is a rarity. Where does someone get off adding me for no reason what so ever. Ok sweet we have 2 mutual friends, both of who happen to be gay, and you somehow thought that this was grounds for us to be facebook friends. Thats a real. I dont care that your profile picture is you and Lady GaGa, or that your other 40 profile pictures are Lady GaGa in various poses. We will never be friends in this lifetime.

humans are strange creatures

i am a happy person, but i can think of about one million things that fuck me off. now im putting them on the internet